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We run a private investigation business, and this is the question we are asked more than any other. Here is the honest answer.
First, what not to do
Do not go through their phone, read their messages, or install a tracking or spy app on their device. In Australia that can be against the law, and if you later find yourself in a family law matter it can damage your case. It also tends to get noticed, which tips them off and makes them more careful.
What you can do
1. Keep a diary
Write down dates, times, excuses and anything that does not add up. After a few weeks a pattern usually shows itself, such as the same night out every week.
2. Check information you already have a legal right to see
Joint bank statements and shared bills are a good place to start. Unusual charges or cash withdrawals are often the first real clue.
3. Do not confront them yet
If you raise it without facts, the usual outcome is a denial and a partner who covers their tracks from then on.
4. If you want certainty, use a licensed private investigator
A good investigator will carry out surveillance in public places on the days that matter, which is where your diary becomes very useful. You should receive a written report with times, locations and photographs. They should work within the law, never promise a particular result, and be upfront about cost.
Sometimes the answer is good news
One more thing worth saying. Sometimes the answer is that nothing is going on. That is a good outcome too. The point is to stop guessing, whichever way it falls.
If you would like to talk it through, learn more about how our surveillance investigations work, or contact SpouseBusters for a confidential chat.
Written by Shane Johnson, General Manager at Spouse Busters Australia. Licensed under GORA Investigations Pty Ltd, NSW Master Licence 412080174.
